How many times?

After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility.

One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?"

After a moment, her youngest son replied quizzically, "Once?"

Arguing

The other day, Nancy and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would have said it was Armageddon.) As is our nature, neither of us would admit the possibility that we might be in error.

To her credit, Nancy finally said, "Look. I'll tell you what. I'll admit I'm wrong if you admit I was right."

"Fine." I said.

She took a deep breath, looked me in the eye and said, "I'm wrong."

I grinned and replied, "You're right."

Eat Dirt!

A vacuum cleaner salesman is making his rounds through the neighborhood and knocks on the door of a single mom who tells him to go away because she is broke and could certainly not afford his fancy vacuum cleaner.

She starts to shut the door on him but he wedges his foot in the door and pushes it wide open. Before our mom tells him how rude he is and is able to retrieve her can of pepper spray, our determined vacuum cleaner salesman has emptied a bag of dirt, cigarette ashes and something that looks a lot like cow manure all over the hallway carpeting and excitedly exclaims, "If I cannot get out every last bit of this mess with the BigSuck 2000, I'll eat whatever is left."

The mother of four just shakes her head and says, "Let me get you a fork, 'cause they just shut off my electricity this morning!"

You have to see this

Click here for a funny video.